Now Offering Degrees

A Wine Monkey degree (WM) from our academy is awarded to scholars who have demonstrated 1) a strong theoretical and personal understanding of homo sapiens in the evolutionary biological order, 2) knowledge of the unwavering rules of cladistics (esp. monophyletic heirarchy), and 3) evidentiary rules for evaluating cultural objects, especially wine, as a monkey. Our graduates know they are monkeys and are appropriately empowered as monkeys.

A Wine Hobo degree (WH) from our academy is awarded to a WM who has demonstrated useful knowledge of a specific non-virtual market environment. Wine Hobos know where to look, who to ask, how to maximize the effective use of resources, and must show an ability to help others navigate their chosen environment. Migration is not required of a WH. A practical understanding of the Hobo Code is required.

A Wine Sherpa degree (WS) is awarded to a WH who contributes to the local wine environment in a way that promotes social, psychic and individual well-being at large, regardless of socioeconomic status, or position in the production and distribution chain. A WS appears to ignore self interest for the sake of summoning muses, enhancing sex lives, and generalizing a state of ecstasy and euphoria for all monkeys.

Our Academy is now accepting applicants. Please submit your application in person or electronically. Enhance your probability of admission to our academy by presenting text in reference to the image immediately below: